myPond

My Christmas Email Blessing

Electronic communication (email, texting, social networking) seems to get a bad rap as being cold and impersonal. I have always disagreed with that thought, believing instead that it makes the world a smaller place by allowing instant connection with those we love, anywhere in the world, at anytime. The truth is, communication in any form is as personal or as impersonal as you make it.

This email, received from a soul mate after our annual Christmas dinner and ornament exchange (something we’ve been doing, and loving, since 1983), is as personal and as touching as anything I’ve ever received. I will keep it forever as a reminder of the deep, abiding and treasured friendships - near and far - that so bless my life. 

I share it with you, with love at Christmas. In this holy season, tell your friends how much they mean. Life does move on, and much too quickly to let these moments just pass by.

 

Dear Friends, 

Yesterday my mom buried her best friend, Pat. They were suite mates in college. Five of them Jo Anne (mom) Peggy, Pat, LaRue and Diana, went to Hardin Simmons together and have eaten, shopped and traveled together for the last 53 years. I drove Mom and Dad to Georgetown for the funeral and ended up chauffeuring the ladies around.   

I listened as they laughed at each other. Peggy and LaRue got lost coming from Lubbock; their trip took an extra hour and a half. They were stopped by police going home and called and said they had never seen so many police cars. Diana's dog kept barking at everyone. LaRue's slip had to be pulled up every time she got out of the car… 

I listened as they reminisced with each other. How Pat was a perfectionist, Peggy picked out her earrings first and would then find an outfit to match, Diana was boy crazy, Peggy never had enough money with her. 

I listened as they complained about arthritis, pinched nerves, old husbands, crazy children. 

I listened as they cried and comforted each other over the loss of their dear friend. The whole time I was there I thought of you, my dear friends. I just wanted to tell each of you how thankful I am for you, I can think of no one I would rather laugh, reminisce, complain, comfort and cry with. I am so blessed to go through this life with my sweet friends. 

I Love You.

Merry Christmas, 

Paula 

P.S.  We all need to get a facebook!

Some things you are powerless to change.

But there always things you can.

Do you ever dwell too much on things you can’t change? I sure do. 

Through God’s grace-pointed chisel, I am learning that there are always things in my life I can change. Even when I feel like I am totally stuck with no options.

The list is simple, because life should be way simpler than we usually allow it to be. So here is my Simple Six:

1) Worship more. 
Worship prompts prayer, and brings peace and perspective in the most stressful of times.

2) Study God’s word more.
Godly wisdom brings focus and strengthens our resolve.

3) Simplify your job.
Everyone does not have to have an answer today.

4) Simplify your weekends.
Avoid the tyranny of Saturday and Sunday being as booked up as your work week.

5) Keep your family at home, together, more.
Balance things like sports, music lessons and church activities – family time is more important than all three.

6) Don’t agonize that #3 - #5 will upset other people.
Sweetly and graciously stand firm.

Change, reflection, and what is real.

Impossible to communicate the depth of thoughts and feelings surrounding sending your firstborn off to college.

Obviously you wonder where the time went, if he's prepared, if you're prepared, where the rest of the money will come from, will he be happy, find good friends, make the right choices, and get to do what he wants with his life.

But it also brings reflection about family and the realization that the true parenting test is about to begin. So far it's all been dress rehearsal.

Steve and I have not amassed great wealth, or even a decent savings. We haven't been able to give our kids everything, but we have given them a lot of things. We don't have a big fancy house. We both have great jobs and are thankful for them, but they do not define us. If we could start over and take different career paths, we both would. We have made right turns and wrong turns at critical junctures of our 26 years together.

But here's what we do know. We have 2 awesome kids. Not perfect, but awesome. We have poured our life and energy into them every day of their lives. We did not leave their spiritual, emotional or social guidance in anyone else's hands. Often we have done things differently than many parents we know. Both kids found salvation through Jesus Christ, in part because of some incredible saints who taught them when they were very young. They have always been blessed with terrific mentors and encouragers. They are tough-minded, tender-hearted and think for themselves. They have many close friends and a loving (though small) extended family. With deep thanksgiving for God's provision for us, they have attended private schools since they were 3 years old. One goes on now to what we know to be a wonderful private university. We have a close-knit family, and I'd rather be with them at any given moment than be anywhere else.

I'm more thankful for that reality than I can describe. These are the good times!

Diggin the Dancing Queen

What is it about Momma Mia that never gets old to me? Just saw the movie yesterday and I’ve seen it on stage 3 times, including Broadway.

At the time ABBA was hot, I liked their music but didn’t realize its place in pop music greatness. It truly is superb music – so creative…so danceable…so – musical.  But what it really is about Momma Mia is being musically and emotionally transported back to the late 70s / early 80s – the Baylor years, the getting-married-and-starting-out-years, the years when Mom was here and life was so, so much simpler. And just getting to camp out back there for a couple hours is sweet indeed.

Never dreamed then I’d be doing church work 25 years hence, or even be a Baptist (proof that God does have a sense of humor). Or that I’d have two incredible kids who, incidentally, love the Momma Mia experience as well.

So to ABBA and all those who have had a part in bringing one of the most fun productions ever to stage and screen, I say “thank you for the music!”

America Proud

July 4 – 11:00pm

Just returning from seeing an incredible fireworks show – one of our most fun family experiences each year… as I watched I couldn’t help but be distracted by the knowledge of the increasing number of those in the political and entertainment headlines who express their disappointment and lack of pride in America. Like the one of who is only “just now” proud to be an American. And another who says he felt embarrassed about being an American when he was recently overseas, more so than on any previous trip. Then another stated he just can’t in good conscience celebrate July 4 this year.  On and on I could go with the list of unhappy campers who despise our nation but love their fame and fortune, earned by the way IN this country.

I know their comments were intended to make us all stop and reflect and be sorry that we are Americans. And in amazement think to ourselves, “how profound.”

Hmmm…as I reflect on their statements, I can only say “how dumb.” (Well, that’s the church employee version of my response.)

As I watched the fireworks with the melting pot of humanity here in Big D and heard the majestic patriotic music, I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed. In America, we can choose any direction we want to go in our lives. We can become what we want to, think what we want to, worship how we want to, be with the people we want to, spend our leisure time how we want to. It means we have struggles and sorrows and make mistakes. It means we might be rich and we might not. It means we can enjoy simple things, share love abundantly and give of ourselves to help others. And choose happiness on a daily basis. It means we are FREE.

Nothing about that bothers my conscience nor makes me feel embarrassed. It makes me humbly thankful for the intense sacrifice that was given 232 years ago, and that continues to be poured out willingly and faithfully to preserve the genius of our country and constitution.

American? Yes. Proud? You bet.

Celebrating Worship and Life

Today I attended possibly the most worshipful service in our church in my 26 years as a member.

It was a funeral.

We sang about heaven, talked about heaven, which is what we do in a Christian memorial service. But in all that I’ve been to, I haven’t worshiped as I did today.

The lives we celebrated were those of a young mother and her baby daughter – 6 weeks before she was to be born. Neither survived a freakish night of illness, fever and infection earlier this week.

As our choir of which she had been a part progressed through their last song – a powerful anthem called “Jerusalem” - her husband and parents stood to their feet. The 1,500 of us in the room followed. I had wanted to stand from the beginning of the song but restrained myself. Hands reached toward heaven. Hearts and spirits joined in unity, celebration - and true, authentic, unprompted worship.

God created worship and created us to worship Him - and the really amazing thing is, worship can happen in triumph when our spirits soar, and in sorrow when our hearts break. In one it brings inexplicable joy, in the other the most profound comfort possible.

Something else I celebrated in this experience: the joy of serving on a staff with those who have not left this family’s side since last Wednesday - along with our incredible music and media teams. I realized afresh, they are why I stick with church work. They do what they do for the right reasons, day in and day out, and they are heroes to me.

I do not understand these deaths, nor many others that have touched my life. But I do understand that God and heaven are real. And that real ministry and worship have way more to do with Him than they do with us and all that we often strive to pull off in the church through our own efforts.

Goodbye Too Soon

The shock and grief continue today from the sudden death yesterday of our golden retriever, Sandy. She was only 7 years old, and hadn’t even started getting gray around her nose yet. Still a puppy to us – and judging from her always joyful spirit – in her heart as well.

She’d been a little off for the last couple of weeks – not eating much but still going through her normal routine on most days. Still greeting us at the door or coming out into the yard as we unloaded the car from our day. Still wagging her tail and smiling, still begging for people food and sleeping in our bed. Still occasionally grabbing a sock out of the dirty clothes and waiting, hoping to be chased. So we didn’t think about those abdominal tumors that goldens often get and that two of our goldens before Sandy ultimately died from. We didn’t consider it, because they were 11 or 12 when it happened. Sandy was only 7. Still a pup. And, her check up just 3 months ago turned up no problems or issues except needing her teeth cleaned.

But yesterday when she didn’t want to move from one spot on the floor and she seemed to have no strength to stand, we knew something was terribly wrong. We rushed her to the vet and xrays confirmed the worst. At least one tumor in the spleen, others maybe but surgery would be needed. Since it was Saturday we had to move her from the vet to an emergency animal clinic, where hopefully they could give her fluids and stabilize her until she could have surgery.

During that drive, her breathing became especially labored. She tried to sit up and engage with us – probably for reassurance. Steve reached over the seat and patted her and talked to her as he always does. When we opened the lift gate to move her inside the clinic, she was taking her last 3 or 4 breaths as we watched, helpless and horrified.

We agreed to an autopsy, just so we could try to come to terms with how this unraveled in a matter of 3 hours. And what we could have done differently. She did have the tumor in the spleen, and a much larger one – “gigantic,” the doctor said – engulfing her liver. Quick onset, and nothing we could have done, so they told us. We stood over her body before they took her away, all 4 of us sobbing and apologizing for not knowing she was sick. And thanking her for being our very best friend ever.

It wasn’t supposed to happen this soon. By my calculations Sandy was going to make it until 2011 or 2012. At least until Emma graduated from high school. Then with both kids out of the house most of the time, it would be easier on them when the time came. And yet we were so thankful to have both Max & Emma by our side, grieving, together. It seemed right that way – since we had all loved her, so very much, together.

Sandy’s Christmas stocking was hung on our mantle the day after Thanksgiving. It will remain there through the holidays and in a few days her ashes will be placed beside it. Slowly we’ll get the toys and dishes and special things she liked put away. But not forgotten. Never forgotten.

Sandy, you brought us joy, comfort, understanding, laughter, fun, conversation, friendship – and unending love.

Rest in peace.

September 26, 2000 - December 1, 2007

The Simple Joy of Thanks

Being away from the microcosm of the church and all of its pressures and faux emergencies for these few days is indeed a blessing. I have a great job, don’t get me wrong. But it requires detox every now and then or I start to believe that the entire universe revolves around that place – which is not only unhealthy, it is just simply not true.

This week I’ve focused on being thankful for just two things: my salvation through Jesus Christ, and my dear family – most immediate of whom are my husband, son, daughter and then my father, sister and her family. This may seem overly simplistic, but I have found it to be overwhelming.

I’ve been lost in the remembrance that my salvation is the greatest gift I could ever receive. And that my family members are who I live to work for, talk to, and share life’s moments with on this earth, including the bond of our redemption. Centering my thoughts and prayers of gratitude on these alone has brought incredible joy and peace to my soul. I’d even say it has been worshipful – something that my job steals from me if I don’t stay continually determined to guard against.

May I recommend that while there are endless things to be grateful for this Thanksgiving, try the simple approach and zone in on those basic things. Those one or two things that give life its greatest meaning and purpose.

You’ll be overwhelmed – with joy and worship for our God.

Another (in a series of) Farewell(s)...

It’s not blogger’s block - but blogger’s overflow - that has kept me from posting for the last several weeks.

Not lacking for ideas – just not able to get them from my head to my fingers here lately.

I can say that Monday, August 20 will be the saddest day of the year for me – the last day of summer. More depressing than the end of the Christmas holidays. Yet, we press on with excitement – for a few days anyway – about the start of a new school year. Cheerleading and football will ease the pain through the fall.

Right now I’m stuck between wanting NEXT summer to hurry up and getting here, as I do every August, and not wanting this year to end. Our firstborn graduates this coming May and that eventuality conjures up feelings that can’t be described. If you took a new college freshman to his or her dorm this past week, you know what I mean.

Yet even this new chapter has its intrigue, mostly for the adventure it will mean for our son. I wouldn’t trade that experience for him, for anything in this world.

There’s this theme of change that’s flowing all through my family’s life right now. Academically – one kid entering high school (and driving!) and one leaving; professionally – considering new ventures; plus cutting to the core as a family on things spiritually – our kids aren’t afraid to ask us point blank why the church does some of the things it does and why some of the people are the way they are. It all spawns lots of thought and discussion in our home, which I love!

So hey – I guess I’m feeling better about this year now. Blazing new trails with a unique and wonderful family continues to make every turn worthwhile.

A Rare Uncle

To the opera world he was "Dresser Joe." To me he was Uncle Joe. He was a genuine, generous person who lived a fascinating life. And I loved him.

He made a difference in this world - even the Associated Press thought so - and I am so proud of who he was and all he did. He died on June 9.

Joseph Harris